Montgomery Real Estate: New Financial Definitions
Just a little end of the year humor...enjoy!!
New Financial Definitions
CEO – Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO – Corporate Fraud Officer
Bull Market – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
Value Investing – The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E Ratio – The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
Broker – What my broker has made me.
Standard & Poor – Your life in a nutshell.
Stock Analyst – Idiot who just downloaded your stock.
Stock Split – When your ex- and their lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
Financial Planner – A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
Market Correction – The day after you buy stocks.
Cash Flow – The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
Yahoo – What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
Windows – What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @$240.
Institutional Investor – Past year investor who’s now locked in a nuthouse.
Profit – An archaic word no longer in use.

Wishing you a prosperous 2009!
The above is courtesy of my friend and fellow agent, Chris Nolan,
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